Monday, November 8, 2010

She Walks with Thunder in Her Thighs

So what exactly is The Clan of the Thunder Thighs?

When I was in middle school and high school, the worst thing you could have called me was "thunder thighs," a derogatory term used to call someone fat. I have never been a little girl in my build. I hail from a long line of strong Scottish, Irish, Polish and "Heinz 57" (as my mother called us) women. But growing up, I had no sense of this. My mother has always been petite and the family I grew up seeing most often was her side of the family. So my cousins were all trim and aunts and uncles too.

When I was nine years old, after being called fat by other kids, I begged my mother to let me go on a diet with her. She finally acquiesced, and thus began my foray into the American game of yo-yo dieting. I know she was being as loving as she thought possible at the time. And I was never easily ignored when I wanted my way.

But, if you google it, you'll see that yo-yo dieting is not only very dangerous and unhealthy, but it also leads to more overall weight gain for such dieters than those who never start to diet in the first place. The challenge was not the food, although I began binging and hoarding food when I was only eight (that story will come in another post). The challenge was not being able to see myself for who I really am - physically as well as emotionally and, most importantly, spiritually.

Somehow, we have become blinded by giving more weight to external opinions, beliefs and lies than the knowing that exists right inside our own hearts (how long have we known that even super models don't look like themselves in real life compared to their air-brushed magazine shots?). We know what me need, we have just forgotten. We've been distracted from realizing what we know to be true about ourselves.

And so, it was with the first line of a poem I wrote years ago, that I began to open my heart to this deep knowledge of my spiritual wholeness. I was in the midst of a terribly dark moment of struggle where I felt monstrously large (despite how healthy I actually was at the time). And I remember pinching my inner thigh with disgust and saying out loud, "I will always be cursed with these thunder thighs!"

And in a flash, it hit me: When did the idea of "thunder" become a negative thing? Think about it: Thunder denotes strength, power and force. When lightening strikes in the mountains, you don't laugh it off, you start counting the seconds between claps of thunder to see how close the power is getting to you.

I put my pen to paper. "She walks with thunder in her thighs." This was the line that marked a life-change for how I would choose to relate to myself from then on. It was in this moment that self-hatred, after years of suffocating my heart with the iron grip of its gnarly fingers, began to lose ground. And it has never regained full control.

In fact, it has led to this juncture in my path, the point where I am inviting all of us to stand in the power that lies inside of us, and say, "Thus far, and no farther." Walk out of this illusory prison with me. No man, woman or child need be a puppet controlled by cultural trends of success, beauty, or value. Our worth has never been dependent on a pant size (too big or too skinny), skin tone, fashion sense, or BMI. No scale, measuring tape, or mirror can give us value or strip us of it. These are inherent qualities in merely being.

And if you walk in this power than you are kin, you are in the Clan of the Thunder Thighs. And you are needed. Exactly as you most deeply are. And if you don't yet know your own strength in this way, but there is something that dances in your heart just to think about this kind of freedom - then you, too, are kin. And it's time to claim your inheritance!


©Heather Barron

12 comments:

  1. Thanks SP. This is a wonderful Blog. Much needed.

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  2. I soak up your words. I am so happy there are more to read and I am with you in the Clan! Some days I am happier to be in the Clan than others but I am working on the happier ones being more frequent. Thank you for this!

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  3. ahhh...those luscious barron thighs. i've got 'em too! lovely little tidbits of thunder they are!! :-)
    awesome post, heathercita! loves....

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  4. Wonderful, thank you Heather for transforming thunder thighs into a source of power rather than shame with your words.

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  5. I love what you shared about thunder - and thinking about it, we really do pause and listen to the wisdom and authority of the rolling thunder. I will pause and listen to the power within in a whole new way!

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  6. Beautiful words and thoughts as usual. I'm thrilled to know you are finally realizing your true beauty. I'd love to be part of your clan and have been working diligently on getting more thunder in my thighs ;)

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  7. Thank you Ladies for taking the time to leave such insightful and heartfelt comments. This is what it's all about: the transmutation and redemption of shame around any of our self-conceived flaws. For me, it has been in the form of thighs. But it presents itself to us in so many different manifestations. Whether in lack, or excess, fear of unworthiness or shame in ANY form is but an ego distraction tactic keeping us from the freedom that is our divine right! Thanks for being part of the Clan!

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  8. As a former thunder thigh clan member (although I know they are latently still there) ... I always found a sense of being well grounded and able in that I had strong legs. At my age my legs are still full of thunder although they have changed in their appearance over the years. I was at my best right after I had my son. I have pictures of me that are just astounding. Where it all went it a mystery but I don't think of them any differently than before. Skinny legs and all ... not really attractive. I am more in favor of women of the ages who carried their loads on big strong legs. There is beauty in and thunder in the thighs. Carry on girls. You are all beautiful. Don't be duped by the fashion industry. They haven't a clue what makes a woman beautiful.

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  9. Thank you Pulling Weeds! You are still in the Clan, because it is a state of mind, not one of body. Soon I will be going more into that. But Thunder Thighs to me is the willingness to stand with power and grace in the body in which one is living, regardless of its mass, density, volume, dress size, height, skin type, hair color, etc. Thank you for your wise advice to our young women especially to not "be duped." The Clan's state of mind is all about thinking for oneself and knowing one's own heart - and having THESE be what informs us in how we carry ourselves in this world.

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  10. Thanks so much Heather! I love this post! It reminds me of a high school boyfriend whose nickname for me was thunder thighs. At the time I obsessed about heir size (even though they were rather small but had a natural curve). My nickname for him was birdface because he had a rather prominent nose. I am finding after years of being somewhat comfortable in my thunder thighs, they are shrinking due to my foray into running. Now I notice the wrinkles and loose skin---so as you so wisely said, there are always image "police" out there (and often in here) distracting us from the truth about our value and worth. And as you said it's not just body image---maybe we laugh too loud or talk too much (yes, I hail from a long line of both of these!) or maybe we are quick to anger but quick to forgive, impatient, stubborn, competitive, as well as friendly, open to change, accepting. Weird, straightforward, blunt, honest, changeable.... You get the idea. Human perfection lives in a very small world of experience, because it isnt real. We are all imperfectly practicing life, and learning to accept that and love it too is a worthy use of our time. Love you Heather!

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  11. Word sister ...Word. I'm here with thunder in my thighs and lightening in my ass ...wait a minute, that may not work out as well ...nevertheless, I am here. Standing beside YOU! xo

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  12. this is toooo good! when's the next post?!?! i cannot wait!

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